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was some other; but Mommy and Daddy had played both tennis and badminton at
Stovington; so he assumed it could be either) and you had to go with one of them
and you practically never saw the other one; and the one you were with could
marry somebody you didnt even know if the urge came on them。 The most
terrifying thing about DIVORCE was that he had sensed the word…or concept; or
whatever it was that came to him in his understandings…floating around in his
own parents heads; sometimes diffuse and relatively distant; sometimes as thick
and obscuring and frightening as thunderheads。 It had been that way after Daddy
punished him for messing the papers up in his study and the doctor had to put
his arm in a cast。 That memory was already faded; but the memory of the DIVORCE
thoughts was clear and terrifying。 It had mostly been around his mommy that
time; and he had been in constant terror that she would pluck the word from her
brain and drag it out of her mouth; making it real。 DIVORCE。 It was a constant
undercurrent in their thoughts; one of the few he could always pick up; like the
beat of simple music。 But like a beat; the central thought formed only the spine
of more plex thoughts; thoughts he could not as yet even begin to interpret。
They came to him only as colors and moods。 Mommys DIVORCE thoughts centered
around what Daddy had done to his arm; and what had happened at Stovington when
Daddy lost his job。 That boy。 That George Hatfield who got pissed off at Daddy
and put the holes in their bugs feet。 Daddys DIVORCE thoughts were more
plex; colored dark violet and shot through with frightening veins of pure
black。 He seemed to think they would be better off if he left。 That things would
stop hurting。 His daddy hurt almost all the time; mostly about the Bad Thing。
Danny could almost always pick that up too: Daddys constant craving to go into
a dark place and watch a color TV and eat peanuts out of a bowl and do the Bad
Thing until his brain would be quiet and leave him alone。
But this afternoon his mother had no need to worry and he wished he could go
to her and tell her that。 The bug had not broken down。 Daddy was not off
somewhere doing the Bad Thing。 He was almost home now; put…putting along the
highway between Lyons and Boulder。 For the moment his daddy wasnt even thinking
about the Bad Thing。 He was thinking about 。。。about。。。
Danny looked furtively behind him at the kitchen window。 Sometimes thinking
very hard made something happen to him。 It made things — real things — go away;
and then he saw things that werent there。 Once; not long after they put the
cast on his arm; this had happened at the supper table。 They werent talking
much to each other then。 But they were thinking。 Oh yes。 The thoughts of DIVORCE
hung over the kitchen table like a cloud full of black rain; pregnant; ready to
burst。 It was so bad he couldnt eat。 The thought of eating with all that black
DIVORCE around made him want to throw up。 And because it had seemed desperately