第38部分（第1页）

selfimage；　by　feelings　of　love　and　responsibility。　Every　possible　choice　seemed

to　have　drawbacks；　and　sometimes　he　didnt　understand　why　the　drawbacks　were

drawbacks。　It　was　very　hard。

〃He　thinks　。。。〃　Danny　began　again；　and　then　looked　at　his　mother　quickly。

She　was　watching　the　road；　not　looking　at　him；　and　he　felt　he　could　go　on。

〃He　thinks　maybe　well　be　lonely。　And　then　he　thinks　that　he　likes　it　here　and

its　a　good　place　for　us。　He　loves　us　and　doesnt　want　us　to　be　lonely　。。。　or

sad　。。。　but　he　thinks　even　if　we　are；　it　might　be　okay　in　the　LONGRUN。　Do　you

know　LONGRUN？〃

She　nodded。　〃Yes；　dear。　I　do。〃

〃Hes　worried　that　if　we　left　he　couldnt　get　another　job。　That　wed　have　to

beg；　or　something。〃

〃Is　that　all？〃

〃No；　but　the　rest　is　all　mixed　up。　Because　hes　different　now。〃

〃Yes；〃　she　said；　almost　sighing。　The　grade　eased　a　little　and　she　shifted

cautiously　back　to　third　gear。

〃Im　not　making　this　up；　Mommy。　Honest　to　God。〃

〃I　know　that；〃　she　said；　and　smiled。　〃Did　Tony　tell　you？〃

〃No；〃　he　said。　〃I　just　know。　That　doctor　didnt　believe　in　Tony；　did　he？〃

〃Never　mind　that　doctor；〃　she　said。　〃I　believe　in　Tony。　I　dont　know　what　he

is　or　who　he　is；　if　hes　a　part　of　you　thats　special　or　if　he　es　from　。。。

somewhere　outside；　but　I　do　believe　in　him；　Danny。　And　if　you　。。。　he　。。。

think　we　should　go；　we　will。　The　two　of　us　will　go　and　be　together　with　Daddy

again　in　the　spring。〃

He　looked　at　her　with　sharp　hope。　〃Where？　A　motel？〃

〃Hon；　we　couldnt　afford　a　motel。　It　would　have　to　be　at　my　mothers。〃

The　hope　in　Dannys　face　died　out。　〃I　know　—　〃　he　said；　and　stopped。

〃What？〃

〃Nothing；〃　he　muttered。

She　shifted　back　to　second　as　the　grade　steepened　again。　〃No；　doc；　please

dont　say　that。　This　talk　is　something　we　should　have　had　weeks　ago；　I　think。　So

please。　What　is　it　you　know？　I　wont　be　mad。　I　cant　be　mad；　because　this　is　too

important。　Talk　straight　to　me。〃

〃I　know　how　you　feel　about　her；〃　Danny　said；　and　sighed。

〃How　do　I　feel？〃